Opening song of live album, performed 5/25/2012 Spider Man On Shutter Island A murderess escaped from here, she should be doing 30 years No one escapes, somehow she can She must be just like Spider Man (Chorus) Spider Man on Shutter Island, Spider Man on Shutter Island Spider Man on Shutter Island The detective he is in the know, his name, of course, Di Caprio He thinks the doctors had a plan They turned her into Spider Man (chorus) A hospital for crazy folks and in the 50's, that's no joke Detective Leo holds the key But they're giving him a lobotomy like.. (chorus) Detective Leo's stuck in there, the inmates all have gone somewhere A hurricane has hit the coast The crazy doctors all are toast But this is not the end, no, this is not the end! Here comes... Spider Man on Shutter Island, Spider Man on Shutter Island Spider Man on Shutter Island (repeat chorus to end) @2010 by Michael Gutierrez-May

Where Are The Blue Ridge Mountains? It's beautiful this place The air is fresh, the sky is clear It's so overwhelmingly green But where are the Blue Ridge Mountains? Where are the Blue Ridge Mountains? Mountains to the East There are mountains to the West We must be in the valley But where are the Blue Ridge Mountains? Where are the Blue Ridge Mountains? Mountains everywhere I look Which ones are the Blue Ridge? They must be far away. You say look to the left They are all around the valley It's so peaceful here. The mountains tuck you in. Where are the Blue Ridge Mountains? Where are the Blue Ridge Mountains? Everywhere. @2010 by Michael Gutierrez-May

I Hate Geese by Michael Gutierrez-May and Chris White I love ducks They're brown and cute They don't bother anyone. They look at you when you say "hi' And wave their tail feathers when you walk by. Wave their tail feathers when you walk by. I like squirrels They are fun and playful They look at you before they dart away. They climb trees And make the park visitors feel at ease. They make me feel at ease. I like the swans So graceful and magnificent Their necks are long and strong They sometimes have an attitude But that's because they are swans. Yeah, they're swans. I could even like a rat When they are bigger They are like squirrels with haircuts. They graze in the garden after dark And nothing goes to waste. Nothing goes to waste. I sort of like pigeons They are proud little birds With bobbing beaks and heads. They are dirty that's for sure But they don't know any better They don't know any better. I hate geese. I hate geese. I hate geese. Filthy disgusting obnoxious Filthy little geese. Geese, geese, geese,geese, geese! @2010 by Michael Gutierrez-May and Chris White

Disneyland's In Therapy by Michael Gutierrez-May Mickey Mouse is in the house, he's feeling quite distressed Donald Duck's run out of luck and acting real depressed Pluto's in the doghouse, Cinderella's blue. Goofy's shooting up and they don't know what to do. Chorus: Disneyland's In Therapy, learning how to cope This hi-tech has passed them by and they're strung out on dope. The cost of constant happiness has gotten very high Oh, Disneyland's in therapy, learning to get by. Pinocchio keeps telling lies, he's character disordered He thinks he's Snow White's long lost son and wants custody court-ordered The seven dwarfs, you might expect, are filing an appeal. At least if Snow White has a son, they think he should be real. (chorus) Ron Howard wants to make a film, they won't give him permission Poor Sleeping Beauty overdosed and passed out in the kitchen When even Dumbo's getting high, the problem's pretty bad. I hope that they can use the help, it's hard to see them sad. (chorus twice to end)

The Dead Leprechaun He was born in County Wexford, not far from the Irish Sea And he weighed five pounds when he was born to Patrick and Mary He would grow to a strapping four feet tall by the time that he was 3. Chorus: But is there anything sadder than a dead leprechaun? He's hardly noticed when alive, but everyone knows he's gone. Oh,he had to die, no reason for it, no good reason why. This is a Celtic ballad and in Celtic music, they all die. He rose up through the leprechaun ranks, a small and sturdy lad Picking out four leaf clovers and cheering up the sad. The pinnacle was his when he was 21 years old, He was chosen by his leaders to defend the pot of gold. (chorus) His time as guardian, alas, was ever short and sweet. He came to work one afternoon, no shoes on his feet A bolt of lightning crackled from the dark and stormy sky, The lightning hit the pot of gold. No time to say good bye. Is there anything sadder than a fried leprechaun... (chorus twice to end)

The Ballad of Dum-Dum by Michael Gutierrez-May and Laree Cisco I'm from Pawtucket, my girl's in Woonsocket I'm an average guy and life is good. Got a kid brother whose head is like a rocket, Hell. I'm the only decent thing in this neighborhood. Chorus: My girl got pregnant and it's probably not even mine But maybe it is so I gotta stick around She works for Amica and I deliver pizza Life is good, yeah, life is good. Her two cousins talked to me the other day Told me to wise up and do the right thing I said I'd do it when the right day comes But I don't like it much when they call me a dum-dum. My girl got pregnant and she told me that it's mine I really don't remember so I better stick around She works for Amica and I deliver pizza Life is good, yeah, life is good. She'll graduate from college at the end of this year And then she tells me, she's gonna be on TV Which means I'll have to drive her to the station And on the air, you know she's gonna talk about me. ( 2nd chorus, then..) Yeah, I'll do the right thing when the right day comes But I don't like it much when they call me dum-dum. LIfe is good.

Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups What do I want for breakfast on a February morn? What's gonna to fill me up and take my hunger pangs away? Sitting right there at the counter at my very favorite store, You know who you are You know I want you. Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups Fill me up, take me someplace good You're the next best thing to coffee. What makes me wait in line At my local Trader Joe's? What makes me lick my lips, take my hunger pangs away? Sitting right there at the counter I could not ask for more. You know who you are You know I want you. Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups Fill me up and make me feel so good You're the next best thing to ice cream. Coffee and Ice Cream Yes, they're ok. But I don't want them in the same way I want you! Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups (whistling solo) What makes me cry and pine? What makes me wait in line? What's close to the divine? You! Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups! @2012 by Michael Gutierrez-May

You Can Catch More Flies by Mari Koslowski and Michael Gutierrez-May No need to be sweet in word If you don't want me around No need to sugar coat it When you're wiping me onto the ground. You catch more flies with shit than honey You catch more flies with shit than honey I'm a little buzzy you'll smack down. Your voice drips with vinegar as you pretend to care The sweet and sour is catching in my throat And my brown hair. You catch more flies with shit than honey You catch more flies with shit than honey I'm a little buzzy lighting there. Rub your heels and walk away No one can say you didn't try You're the kind that always seems to find another fly. You catch more flies with shit than honey You catch more flies with shit than honey I'm tired, I'm buzzing on my way I'll find a different pile a different day. You catch more flies with shit than honey You catch more flies with shit than honey I'm a little buzzy you'll smack down Find a different pile I'm buzzing on my way. The Dogs of Omaha by Michael Gutierrez-May They come running around the corner at 100 miles an hour And they say, "You can't escape us," "We're the dogs of Omaha." "Welcome to our city, we will show you around And you'll buy us steaks for dinner," said the dogs of Omaha. "We will show you the Old Market, We will track down Warren Buffett, You'll be very glad you met us," said the Dogs of Omaha Arrroooooo-pant, pant, pant, pant Arrrrooooo-pant, pant, pant, pant "To the banks of the Missourt Although now they're overfllowing, Run you all the way to Boys Town," said the Dogs of Omaha. "And if you're getting tired, You can take us on the bus, We will drop you at the Zoo, Aren't you glad that you met us," said the Dogs of Omaha said the Dogs of Omaha. Arrrroooooo-pant, pant, pant, pant Arrrroooooo-pant, pant, pant, pant ":Remember we want steaks for dinner, Yes, you'll be getting thinner," said the Dogs of Omaha said the Dogs of Omaha. Arrrroooooo-pant, pant, pant, pant Arrrroooooo-pant, pant, pant, pant Pant, pant, pant, pant Pant, pant, pant, pant. @2011 by Michael Gutierrez-May Good Night Sex by Michael Gutierrez-May Let's go to home depot, I hear it's open late 24 hours round the clock I'm feeling pretty horny and it's quiet in the store We can do it while the stock boys stock. Chorus: We need a new place for good night sex, We did it at the drive in just last week. Only you and I will know We made love at Home Depot Just a rockin and a rollin cheek to cheek. We will walk into the store And we will just get lost 24 hours around the clock If you run into your brother If I run into my mother We'll just tell them we were looking for a lock. (chorus) We need to find the moment The right household appliance Comfortable and roomy for our thrill. Just wear something flimsy With an easy access point And for you and me, it all will be downhill. @2011 by Michael Gutierrez-May

A Puerto Rican On The Moon Apollo landed there in 1969 There was nobody else there at the time Nowadays if you want your own place You gotta travel to outer space So you take a Puerto Rican family Bring along the salsa and the rice and beans And the moon would be as happy as a place could be Dancing every night. Chorus: I'm a Puerto Rican on the moon I'm a Puerto Rican here, I'm a Puerto Rican there, I'm a Puerto Rican everywhere. A Puerto Rican on the moon. So here I am living here in the USA Second generation and I'm here to stay They don't speak Spanish here in the States I had to learn my Spanish from china plates But half a Puerto Rican is better than none Tells my Irish side to chill out, have fun You're as crazy cool as anyone. Dancing every night. (chorus) Look up in the sky and say, Oh Man They're still playing their music as loud as they can Puerto Rico is a postage stamp here below But up on the moon, Puerto Ricans run the show. (chorus twice to end) @2012 by Michael Gutierrez-May

You Can’t Take My Carrot (The Carrot Song) My boss gave me a carrot because I was good But now I gotta give it away A cute little carrot with long green hair I don't want to give it away. Chorus: Oh, you can't take my carrot No, you can't take my carrot I won't let you take it away Oh, you can't take my carrot I earned my carrot And I want my carrot to stay right here. I need to give my carrot to someone else Someone who is helpful to me But maybe they would like an apple or a peach Yep, the carrot is staying with me. (chorus) The HR people came for my carrot I kept it for more than a day So sue me if I am not a team player I don't want to give my carrot away (chorus then..) Right here, in my desk, with my pencils And my squeeze ball and the swizzle stick from last year And the leftover refrigerator magnets... @2011 by Michael Gutierrez-May

No one writes songs about Groucho The funniest man there ever was No one writes songs about Groucho No one writes songs about Groucho Is it because he couldn't sing? Is why a duck too obvious? Someone should write a song about Groucho So I decided it would be me. A song in tribute or a tribute in song To the funniest man there ever was. Yay, Groucho! Yay, Groucho! Yay, Groucho! @2011 by Michael Gutierrez-May